He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
