my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
