Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
