ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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