My hair reeks of homosexuality.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
