guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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