i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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