I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
ok first of all what the fuck
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
