I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
