i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
