U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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