Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
