i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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