You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
