maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
