i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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