i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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