Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
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