i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
