Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
