The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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