I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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