He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
