Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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