I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
