then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
