if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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