I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I will be naked everywhere
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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