I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
