butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
