It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
