I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
