come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
