.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
