matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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