Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
