so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
