where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
my shit smells like andre
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
