perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
