never play flip cup with pint glasses
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
