i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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