have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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