Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
