I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
