OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
