i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
