why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
