you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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