So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
