The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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