Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
this beer tastes like vomit already
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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