Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
