She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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