I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
