Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
